“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” – 1 Corinthians 13:11
It’s time to put away my childish behaviors. My tantrums, my pity parties, the little selfish girl inside who still tries to hang onto a childhood that is long past. Because that little girl, buried somewhere inside me, still longs for a childhood she never really had. But instead of trying to recreate it for my own gain, it’s time to grow up and start making a better life for the children in my care; To give them the mother they deserve. One free from the traps of her ego, no longer a victim to her own trauma. Never to pass on the same heartache to them. It’s time to grow up little girl and replace your childish heart for a childlike one. One committed to God and your family, a heart filled with bravery and perseverance. Dear younger me, I know you thought you could have it all, you thought there was still something there to hang onto. You have tried for so very long to rebuild a world that has passed away. But sweet child, that life is over. So say goodnight Gracie, it’s time to go to bed. It’s time for Joanna Rae to rise again, have her cup of coffee, and get back to work.