People have been telling me I was crazy my entire life. And for the longest time, I actually believed them. I’ve had friends, lovers, bosses, even my own parents wonder and worry, some out of reasonable concern, others through gas lighting and shaming, for their own narcissistic purposes. But thank the Good Lord, I have finally started to accept that maybe it’s not me that’s the crazy one. And maybe I never was.
“Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” – Matthew 5:11-12
Yes, I’ve made some terrible decisions in my past and I was a pretty nasty, selfish addict for many, many years. Partly because it was the only example I’d ever had growing up. Partly because I’m a completely wretched sinner, just like everyone else and I would be nothing without my Savior. And I totally own my free will choices to sin all those years.
But you see, that girl, she died with Christ on May 22, 2016. That person doesn’t exist anymore. And with her died a lot of very flawed beliefs, worlds views, behaviors, and lifestyle choices. Honestly, it’s pretty much all gone. I’ve done a complete 180. And that seems to scare a lot of people who knew me before. So much so that they REALLY think I’ve lost it this time. But they really have no idea who I am today. This woman is a woman seeking with all her heart, mind, body, and soul after Jesus, to follow his commands, not the commands or judgments of the people of earth. And I’m not talking about the modern false ‘Jesus’ that seems to have conveniently changed the Word of God to be relevant to the 21st century. No, that’s not my Lord. And it’s not the truth. There is one Jesus whom I follow and that is the Jesus of the Bible.
My life may look like insanity to anyone who knew me before and to anyone who hasn’t been truly born again and sanctified through Christ. My choices may seem extreme, and truly, they are. But that’s what happens when you’re sold out for Christ. Because the gate that leads to life is narrow and few enter through it. So even if I lose all my worldly things, all my friends and family, I will still have the only treasure ever worth fighting for. Eternal life with my Heavenly Father.