Just Stop: On Breaking the Cycles of Pain and Anger


Please, just stop. The cycles of anger, resent, hatred, abuse, cruelty, self loathing, war. They pass from one generation to the next. Between people, between families, between couples, between neighbors, between nations. Until someone just decides to stop. To not put their ego and need for control above compassion. To take responsibility for their own pain and their own healing.

It is true, as Will Bowen puts it, that “hurt people hurt people.” But someone has to stop or we will persist in this destruction forever. Someone has to choose love and understanding. Someone has to choose a different route. Someone has to say “I forgive you. I forgive myself. Let’s walk together in peace and build a better future for ourselves, for our children, for our world.”

I have been that hurt person hurting others. I choose to stop. I choose to show my children a brighter childhood, free from the stresses and burdens of living in an angry, indifferent home. I choose everyday to regard others with love and compassion. I choose to live with a heart of forgiveness and growth instead of a spirit of resent and loathing.

And you know what? In this place I have found complete and utter peace and freedom.

So I beg you, whoever is reading these words, in whatever ways you have been hurt, shamed, abandoned, abused, forgotten… Just stop the cycle. Focus on God. Focus on healing. Choose love instead.

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