After all that time I finally saw it. Through all the years of pain and failure it turns out that God was with me all along. He was always there, guiding me, while allowing me to feel all the birthing pains of my spiritual formation along the way. And although my path will always be filled with treacherous valleys, the peaks are in high. So I carry on, walking through the flames of life, my heart on fire with love. And I am a pilgrim.


Year of Grace and Truth

December 2018 definitely makes the top five list for best months of my life. On the outside, it may not look like anything special, but the beauty I’ve encountered, the sheer joy of the Lord I’ve felt this past month is undeniable. God has blessed me in ways I can barely put into human words. He has restored things that were broken. He has watered dormant seeds and turned them … Read More

Stories of Redemption

As I sat in the Christmas Eve’s Eve service tonight at my church, I was struck with a moment of clarity and awe as I pondered the dear people sitting in the row with me. So many stories of love and redemption. My beloved husband, the first person in my life who really, truly saw me and listened all those years ago, making way for a miraculous transformation within me. … Read More

Remembering My Brother

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” – Matthew 5:4 I am definitely one that you would consider on the high end of the Christmas joy spectrum. I love this time of year, the gatherings, the family, the food, the coziness of winter setting in… But for two years now, there’s been an underlying sadness in my heart. Two years ago today, my darling cousin, who in … Read More

Blessed Are the Meek

I spent decades in slavery to this world. To its labels, its ideals, its impossible expectations, its vicious, fear inducing, family destroying, joy stealing lies. Years as a slave to this world’s addictions, its vanity, pride, and lust, its wicked excuses, and the way it has broken the hearts of everyone that lives in and of it. It is the world and it’s ruler Satan that hurts us and lets … Read More

Five Years and A Lot of Life Later

Today is my five year anniversary of being prescription medication free. After 15 years of psychiatric treatment, I woke up on November 1, 2013 for my first morning after psych meds. It was a painful day, I remember that most vividly, but it was also kind of a blur. The night before, as I got ready for bed, I knew the next morning would be difficult. Anyone who has ever … Read More

4 Aspects of Fearless Living

What does it mean to live fearlessly? To me, living fearlessly means allowing myself to slow down and step back from the chronic busyness of the world. It means choosing some things for myself and my family that are contrary to popular culture. It means taking time to disconnect from technology without FOMO. It means putting rest and recovery above the endless to-do lists. It means being present through the … Read More

Say Goodnight Gracie

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” – 1 Corinthians 13:11 It’s time to put away my childish behaviors. My tantrums, my pity parties, the little selfish girl inside who still tries to hang onto a childhood that is long past. Because that little girl, buried somewhere … Read More

I’m Not What I Was

I wish you could have seen me, all those years ago. But then again, for your own sake I pray you didn’t see me back then. I was a wreck and I destroyed everything in my path as I roared through my troubled life, leaving brokenness in my wake. Maybe some of you did know me back then. I know many walked away. Just as I walked away from so … Read More

You Can’t Win Them All

My oh my, this past month has been a time of tough love coming from me it seems. Recently, I’ve let loose some heavy words and reality checks in the open both privately and publicly. And I know in the process I’ve likely made some people unhappy. “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still … Read More

Becoming a Hope Bringer

Ten years ago, I lived in a black and white world of insanity. Rage. Chaos. Lust. Addiction. Never satisfied with anything. Always hungry for something more. Desperately grasping into thin air, missing the big picture right in front of me. Stuck in my vanity and malicious greed. A weapon of mass consumption. Trapped in a fog of comfortable misery. But ten years later, everything has changed…… Read More

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